It’s been days, weeks, or even a few months, and you can’t help but think about how it all ended between the two of you. I know how it feels because I knew our break up was a mistake as soon as it happened. I’d replay that scene over and over in my head, and it would haunt me to no ends.
A week later, I knew I’d made a mistake. I knew I had to talk to her, apologize for everything I’d done and fix any damage I had caused. Believe it or not, there were many nights I cried about it all; praying that she could forgive me and give us another chance.
After a breakup, it is easy to act irrationally. You want to call and bombard her phone with messages filled with apologies while begging for forgiveness. You keep checking your phone every few minutes to see if she’s responded to anything you’ve said – and yet, nothing.
Well, I’ll tell you the cold truth. No matter how emotional you feel about the entire situation, don’t act on your emotions – at least not while they are all over the place! I’ll tell you how to navigate the murky ex waters and finally emerge as a winner.
How To Get Your Ex Back
Like I said earlier, it is best not to say anything when you haven’t had a chance to assess everything and think logically. If you’re going to improve the odds of her taking you back, you need to learn from the past. You don’t want to get her back only to lose her again.
Here is what you need to do:
1. Don’t say anything at first
Here’s why: When you are emotional, you may end up saying things you will regret later. Not only that, but you may end up destroying any chance you have of reconciling.
If you have to talk about your feelings and what you think, talk to a close friend. A good friend can be a good listener and a sounding board to help you feel better. Also, it can help you have a good perspective on the relationship you had with your ex.
To assess everything that happened, you both need some space. This will help you breathe, process, and let the emotions unwind
When you have space, you can take some time to think about everything that led to the breakup. Consider whether the differences that lead to the end are something you can both fix. Also, you want to be sure that you want her back; if you’re feeling lonely or guilty, getting back together may not be a good idea.
3. Avoid contact
If your ex wants to talk, she will reach out to you. Otherwise, focus on working on negative traits that may have been the reason the relationship ended.
Focus on being a better version of yourself. Besides, time will help you decide if you were going through grief (that can end) or whether you really want her back. Get back to your other activities and hang out with your friends.
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4. No pursuit
It’s tempting to want to check on her sometimes. After my breakup, I wanted to ask from mutual friends how she was, and whether she was seeing someone new – but I knew I couldn’t act desperate.
Give it a month before you decide to check up on her. This way, you’re in a good position to accept any outcome. If she does initiate contact, do not ignore her or be rude; be polite as this can help you get her back.
Don’t try to get her back directly. First, look for hints to see whether she still cares or if she’s still interested in you.
How to do it? Observe any subtle hints whenever you bump into her, maybe her social media posts, or what your mutual friends say without you digging for information.
If all the signs are good, you can hang out casually with her and mutual friends. Keep it fun and leave serious relationship discussions aside. Once you have taken the time to rekindle the friendship, you can initiate a conversation about your past and whether it would be possible to have a relationship in the future!
I’ll admit it took some time before I got back with my ex, and it took some lessons like these to help me change from the dumb boyfriend I was to a man she could trust to be in a relationship. My self-esteem was back up, I started working out and changed my appearance, I was a better person, and you can be too!