They say you only know a good thing when it’s gone, and that is a common situation with many people and their exes. When my girlfriend broke up with me, I thought it was a joke at first. We were in a good place in the past three years, I was a douche sometimes, but that wasn’t enough for her to break up with me, right?
The mistakes I made (that seemed so trivial to me) were a big deal for her, and I couldn’t see it at first. It’s only after we broke up that I realized how insensitive and uncaring I came off as during the relationship.
Fortunately, I came to my senses and realized she deserved a lot more than what I initially offered. I was ready to make the necessary changes to fix the issues and see us through to the future. If you are in a similar predicament as I was in, I’ll tell you how to go about getting her to want you back – and it’s not as tough as you think!
How To Make Her Want You Back
To get her back, every move you make after your break up can help or harm your situation. You need to be wise about the steps you take the minute you decide to take action, and here’s what you can do:
1. No Contact
There’s a reason even relationship experts advise you not to make contact with your ex after you’ve broken up. Don’t send her texts, blow up her phone with calls, or engage her on social media. You need to do this for a month.
Why? This period is for both of you to get the space you require to work out your emotions and heal. Not only can it make your ex-girlfriend miss you, but it also gives you time to cool off if there were anger and negativity at the end.
Also, since this is an emotional period, no contact helps you avoid doing anything irrational. When you don’t see her pictures on social media or know what she’s up to, you have a better chance to recover and calm down. While at it, do not post about your break up, badmouth her, or tell everyone how depressed and sad you are about the breakup.
2. Assess Everything
Now that you have some space to think, it is time to assess the entire relationship. Think about all the pros and cons you had when you were with her. Are you just feeling lonely, or is the relationship that you want?
What did you do right and wrong? What do you need to change before you can try and get her back? Once you have a clear view of everything you can do differently, you have a better chance of getting another chance.
During this one month, work on being the best version of yourself you can be. Eat well, work out, improve your appearance (especially if it wasn’t so great!), hang out with your friends, and get into your hobbies and fun activities. You want to be a better man, and a man she can be attracted to all over again.
It is perfectly normal if you don’t feel like hanging out with friends or getting out there for a while. But don’t mope for too long; it isn’t good for you, and it definitely won’t help you get her back. Work on all the negative traits you had while in the relationship.
4. Establishing Contact
Once the no-contact period is over, you feel much better, and you are certain you want her back; it is time to establish contact. If there are activities you can do with mutual friends that include her, you can join in, keep it friendly, and start from there. If she isn’t close by, you can call or text and start with something light.
Don’t tell her how much you miss or love her; keep it positive. You could comment on a location you currently are at that reminded you of her. Or maybe something you watched that made you think of her.
Once you’ve established she is comfortable with the conversation and you can bring up the past, admit your mistakes and apologize. This shows her that you have been thinking about it logically and that you are mature enough to apologize. If everything goes well from there, you can ask her on a simple and casual date – nothing too personal.
When the new friendship is blooming, you can now woo her to win her back. Be confident, impress her with this changed you, and focus on building new memories. However, if it doesn’t work out, do not force it on her – after all, you have come out of this a new and better man!
Admittedly, it took me a while to understand better relationship dynamics. I took the Magic of Making Up Course and it helped me uncover things I was ignorant about it. I finally understood things from my now-girlfriend’s point of view and made a complete turn!