We live in a world where everything is expected to happen instantaneously. That is why gadgets govern our lives. We have equipment for instant coffee, microwaves for reheating last night’s dinner, and mobile phones for instant communication.
However, how “fast” you get your ex-girlfriend back isn’t going to be like switching some remote control and “voila” she is back into your life. Let’s come to an agreement…. men make more mistakes than women in relationships.
Mistakes range from a flirtatious glance at another woman, failing to understand her emotional needs or getting caught cheating -you have more work to do if it is the last one. Most often than not, the man has no clue what he did wrong.
Men have always found it hard to comprehend women. It often feels like they are aliens who landed on planet earth. However, it is possible to get your ex-girlfriend back if you have the right strategy.
Before we get started, understand that the word “fast” is relative. If one guy gets back his ex-girlfriend after six months and another after two months, the latter guy can be described as “fast”.
Fast does not mean you implement this strategy today and three days later the two of you are cuddling at your place over some popcorn and a movie. It will take time to rebuild her trust in you.
# 1: Avoid contacting her
Every fiber in your bone is screaming for you to get on the phone and beg her to come back. Instead, the best way to get her back is to actually have a no-contact policy. I agree it would be nice to hear her voice, touch her like you used to, but if you do not want another break up avoid texting immediately.
If there is one thing she does not need of you at this time is – desperation. She needs time to heal from the breakup – clear her thoughts. If you hurt her, then she needs to overcome all the bad feelings she has towards you. The old saying applies here, “time heals”.
Avoiding contact also creates neediness on her part. If she was really into you and you did many things together, she will start missing you. Your first text/call after this waiting period will be heaven-sent. She will be dying to hear your voice.
How long should you wait?
I would say three to four weeks. It seems like such a long time but you will survive the wait and thank me later.
# 2: Chat as old friends
When the time comes to give her a chat, it can be tempting to start asking her to re-evaluate the relationship but this only makes you come out as needy. If she accepts your call ensure that you make it short. Also, talk to her like you would an old friend. Questions that will help her mellow to you fast, will include how her work is going or about her family. Initially, do not bring up the relationship.
#3: Become more attractive
When people are at the beginning of a relationship they tend to put their best foot forward. But, as time progresses they slacken due to familiarity. Try to remember what she liked most about you and go back to that person. If she liked your beard trimmed or a particular hairstyle – try it out as it will evoke certain emotional feelings towards you. These traits are vital to re-attraction.
You can also try to re-invent yourself. Try out a new hobby or skill. This shows her that you can continue enjoying life even in her absence. The idea is not to appear as a loser who becomes immobile because he has been dumped.
This will also be the right time to rebrand yourself. Change your clothing line and hit the gym. The idea is when she takes a look at you she will desire you more. When this happens give her the allure that you are finally independent and happy with your current life. Misery is infectious and so is success. If she gets the idea that you are doing well with your life she will want you back.
#4: Work on your mental stability
Breaking up with someone you have loved for a long time is heart-wrenching. It can leave you crippled emotionally. But, this offers you the perfect opportunity to work on yourself. What you need to do is become a more confident and independent person. Happiness is a choice and you can have that minus your ex-girlfriend.
Try doing meditation, exercises, or yoga to boost your mental reserves. It is okay to grieve over the loss of a girlfriend but do not let it go for too long. Also, do not engage in self-pity by telling the whole world what she did to you. If you find yourself being bogged down by negative feelings, get a journal and write them down. This gives you the necessary release.
#5: Spend time with your close friends
This will help keep your mind off her. Even though you have intentions of getting back with your ex-girlfriend be open to other relationships. Meeting new people is exciting and helps you get off the depressive mood.
While at it change some of the bad habits your ex-girlfriend did not like about you. This may include binge drinking, smoking or cursing. Remember change is not just for your girlfriend but it makes you a better person.
Mistakes happen. At some point, you come to the realization that the grass was not greener at the other side. In fact, you need to tend to that grass. Wanting your ex-girlfriend back is a move that is filled with so much uncertainty. Firstly, you are not sure she will want you back or she has moved on with another guy.
However, by first giving yourself a break to heal and not appear needy, you can win her back. The main thing is you can choose to be more attractive in her eyes. This makes you irresistible. Re-inventing yourself through self-confidence programs, changing your dressing style, or getting some muscles will make her want you fast.