Trying to contact your ex-girlfriend after ignoring her for many months or years can lead to a lot of apprehensions. The fear that she will ignore or reject your calls is very real. Each relationship is different.
In some instances, couples do get back together and build successful relationships thereafter. So, it is worth the shot to try to make contact, you never know her response! The first thing you need to know before even thinking about contacting her is whether she is seeing someone.
This will require you to do some investigations. You can talk to someone who knows her intimately or check her social media pages for any signs of prince charming. If the waters are clear, then it is time to search for her number and break the ice.
The reason you are so apprehensive about contacting a longtime ex-girlfriend is that you are not sure of her reaction. This will be dependent firstly on how you broke up with her. If you cheated, then their pretty slim odds she will even want to come near you, but if you broke up in a civil and amicable way then I would advise you to go slowly with her.
Before we proceed to that crucial text, I would like to ask. Are you emotionally ready to contact your ex? Before sending that text you need to realize that if things can go north, in this case, remember that you can still find love and happiness elsewhere. While she may have been the love of your life, there are still fruitful relationships that you can develop outside this one.
Have you taken the time to evaluate what went wrong with the relationship? Are there things you would have done better that would have prevented your breakup? The recipe for breakups is available for you, so do not feel so hopeless.
Your biggest battle….Winning her trust
One of the things that takes the biggest hit when people break up is trust. If you broke up because you cheated on her – a worst-case scenario with her best friend – then you have to build her confidence in you gradually. This will mean not pressuring her for things to go back the way they were before too quickly. She has to trust in your change and that you are committed to making the relationship work.
The reason you are experiencing fear is that you lack confidence in yourself. Ladies will be attracted to a guy with a muscled body because it evokes emotions of security and well… they would love to pass on those genes to their kids.
I have always been a skinny, stammering and awkward kid. This posed challenges when I tried to approach girls in college. It was like by being near a girl I would be afraid she would chop me into pieces if I said the wrong words. I sorted this out by reading tones of books on building self-esteem and working on my physique.
Self-confidence goes beyond how you dress, look to how you feel about yourself internally. With confidence, you will know what to say when texting her. In the worst-case she ignores your texts, you will still have the strength to move on.
Let’s move on to sending that first text.
If you want to do this right then your timing has to on point. Imagine this… You have this killer business idea that you want to front to some angel investors, but you make your move to contact them when they have just lost their lead financial analyst. It is obvious that your intentions were right but the timing was off. Same goes with your ex-girlfriend.
It would be inappropriate to text her when she is busy at work or very late at night when all she needs is to get under the covers. This will require you to be strategic with her schedule. The first step is to break the ice. Start by asking her how her career is going, if you have seen certain highlights in her career then bring them up during your first contact.
Avoid appearing too needy or wanting the relationship to go back to how it was immediately. Remember she still does not have your complete trust. If she does not immediately respond to your text give it a day or week before texting again. The idea is to not appear as pushy. Broken hearts take time to heal. It is also vital to ask her whether she still needs more time before continuing with your advances.
Honest, Open Communication
Relationships are built on having the right communication. Such conversations are honest, open, and devoid of judgments. If you were the one at fault during the last break up, it would be prudent to start by apologizing.
A sincere apology goes a long way. Once you start texting them, make every effort to be consistent. Send her text or email wishing them a happy day, in the evening ensure you call or text asking how their day was. This keeps the conversation going and goes a long way in keeping you in her mind all day.
Come out clean why you want her back
It is at times confusing knowing where a relationship is going if you keep getting mixed signals. Do not take her in circles for too long. At some point during your conversations, tell her that you would want her life.
Many people dread breakups. The emotional toll it has on the body makes some never to seek out relationships again. However, time heals a broken heart and opens the door for another shot at romance. When it comes to winning your ex-girlfriend back, it is tempting to go crying at her door to take you back, but this will only make you appear desperate.
Firstly, have a no contact rule. It could be the next three to four weeks in which you do not talk to her. This time allows you to heal and look at life from a different perspective. It also helps you work on yourself. In fact, she may desperately want you back if she notices that you are now looking super fine.