How To Approach A Girl At Work

by Andreas | Last Updated: August 31, 2019
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I remember the first time I met my girlfriend. We worked in the same company, but we were in different departments on the same floor. When I wasn’t bumping into her on the stairs, the corridors, or in the elevator, our departments would sometimes come together for a meeting.

She looked so amazing; I’d always find myself collecting my jaw from the floor by the time I came to the realization I could have said something. Admittedly, I was a bit of a nerd, and I wasn’t that good with girls. Luckily, I can say now that a lot has changed since then!

Later, after she became my girlfriend, she admitted that she found my nerdy look endearing and that she liked how organized I always seemed (a big win I didn’t know I had at the time). My first approach also went quite well by her; so well that we’ve been together four years now.

Looking back at it now, I understand how tough it may seem to walk up to that girl at work that you fancy. You don’t want to leave it unpleasant and make work awkward for both of you – or just you. I’ll tell you how you can do it without making it uncomfortable, no matter the outcome.

How To Approach The Girl At Work

man and woman meeting at work office

Remember, you want to keep things polite and friendly so it stays so if she’s not up for your advances (or if she has a boyfriend). Also, you want to do it without coming off a stalker or a creep. Here are some easy steps you can follow to approach her:


When initiating the first contact, timing is very crucial, and hopefully, you don’t have a bad reputation at work that may mess up any chances you may have.

Timing involves looking for signals; they will help you know the right moments to start making your moves. These are some that help you:

  • If she’s seated or standing, looking comfortable and relaxed, that’s a good moment. She is likely to be open to conversation
  • If she’s sending a smile or keeps glancing your way curiously, that’s also a good sign you can approach
  • If she looks upset or busy, it’s highly likely she won’t appreciate interruption or being hit on at that moment

Now that you know when it’s best to initiate conversation, you can start working yourself into her mind. The next time you meet in the elevator, the corridors, or in a room together, make eye contact, smile, and say hello. You’re just a normal and polite guy being nice to a coworker.

man and woman colleagues talking in their office

Make The Next Step

Next, it’s time to work your way into more than just a greeting. She knows you’re not creepy and won’t be alarmed by your next move. If she’s carrying some heavy files or juggling items on her arms, get in the picture and offer your help.

Nothing heavy yet – you can ask her where she’s headed or comment on how busy her day seems to be from the look of things. Another way could be approaching her on a break that you share.

Approach Anxiety can keep you single for YEARS!
One secret to overcoming approach anxiety is to be yourself.

Approach nonchalantly like you didn’t expect her there, but make confident eye contact, smile, and portray pleasure to find her there. Talk a little about work and mix in with a few personal details.

The personal details can include you sharing your name and asking for hers, comment about the day or weather, and make a joke if she’s already smiling and gave you her name. Pay her a polite compliment, avoid engaging in office gossip, and keep everything cool. If she doesn’t seem distracted, distant or upset, you’re doing pretty great!

Try and excuse yourself before she does – it helps give you non-creepy points. You could say something like, “Would you look at the time! Well, I’ve got to get back in. This was really nice/refreshing/fun.” Smile, take note of her response and walk out casually.

This will get her thinking about you after you leave, because: You were courteous, you asked questions about her and shared some information about you, and possibly, you made her smile or laugh. You’ve left a positive image in her mind, and your next meet-ups will be a lot easier!

Final Word

Think about it, it doesn’t seem so difficult now, does it? You were a normal and pleasant human being who expressed his interest. Though you don’t want to seem like a stalker, don’t take too long to approach her next, or she might think she was just keeping you occupied that one good moment!

Andreas, the founder of CharmingMale, is an enthusiast of becoming a "charming guy" without becoming someone else. He has been an average skinny dude most of his life, yet after years of hustle, disappointments, he become a better male version of himself. He discovered that, even if you are an average guy, as long as you are willing to put in some effort of improving yourself and developing the skills, you can become a better man that people will respect and admire!